Thinking Pinoy.

The Pinoy Pilgrim is a Friend of Mine

 [The opportunity to write and be part of this great book has certainly been an honor.]

The Unlikely Pilgrim

Pinoy Pilgrim, the book destined to shake the Filipino psyche so that we can all look into ourselves to discover a fresher perspective is finally off the press. I was one of the privileged few to have been able to read the draft before it even came to print.

Pinoy Pilgrim is an exceptionally good read to say the least. Its illuminating content is refreshing. The author, Manoling de Leon, is a master of his craft. A talented storyteller who has woven his personal philosophies and experiences into one great design. What an interesting read to learn about his family’s legacy and tradition and the events that led to the declaration of Martial Law in 1972. His association and personal experiences with the two most powerful people of that time, President Ferdinand Marcos and Businessman and King Maker, Eugenio Lopez fills every chapter with flowing accounts of one of the most important eras in Philippine History. This book must definitely be read by all Filipinos. A word of caution though, this book is not meant to be read at night. Because you will never be able to put it down to rest.

Manoling was once a consultant of Unilab. It was his innate marketing acumen that helped put together a more professional marketing research group in our office with George Burwell, the pioneer of political polling in the country who successfully predicted the election of Arsenio Lacson as mayor of Manila in the early sixties.

Manoling impressed me as someone always slightly pregnant (haha!). Yet unlike one of his daughters who bore 9 children, Manoling gave birth to ludicrous ideas that always worked. His over-active imagination conjured concepts one would not even think at all possible. Tipong sira, walang wawa ang sinasabi pero pagnabuo ang concept bibilib ka.

This book, Pinoy Pilgrim is just like that — a cacophony of challenging thoughts and tidbits of history that can be gleaned only from a man who was there when it all happened. His lessons on love and laughter will permanently leave an imprint in you. Above all, you can expect that this work of literature will stand side by side with Dr. Jose Rizal’s powerful novels, Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo.

Manoling is in love with everything Pinoy and proud of it. He was an overseas contract worker way before they were romanticized as the new Filipino heroes. Rather, he saw himself in the likeness of the original Visayan overseas worker named Enrique, the one who navigated the western seas through the Iberian Peninsula with Ferdinand Magellan. If you will remember, it was Enrique who made it possible for Magellan to gain the easy acceptance of the Cebuanos as he translated Kastila into Bisaya and vice-versa. (A footnote in Philippine history from F. Sionil Jose’s, “Viajero”)

Patriotic as I may also be, I guess we will always be part of Spanish history because even the Spaniards once upon a time roamed Europe looking for work. This was the period in Spain’s history when it was so devastated that there was not enough food to feed its people. And like them, we Filipinos will also have our chance in time when our people will finally come back home to enjoy the fruits of their sacrifices as they help put the country back on its feet abroad.

I had the wonderful gift of getting to know Manoling when I was about to retire from Unilab. After spending 34 years servicing the medical community, it was Manoling who helped transition me into the intellectual life and the academe. I learned to question what I knew and believed and Socrates became my guide. Manoling and I share a mutual friend, Fr. Joe Cremadis, a man carved in the image of St. Josemaria of Opus Dei, our spiritual director and friend.

A final note on the book — don’t think that this book is solely for history buffs. With its many lessons, even the younger generation can find some meaning in his work. Manoling writes on drug abuse with authority because at one point in time, it has invaded his family.

Let me quote him directly how they won the battle:
“If the addicted person can get the best of both worlds – sustain his fantasy and pleasures – then the addiction is not curable. The addict will go back to it again and again. The solution is to convince him that he is sick, and unless he gets well, he will be useless in this world. If the person is intelligent and smart, he will realize that he cannot continue living life this way and, therefore, decide to kick it off. Once he does make this personal decision, he gets all the help he needs to recover the normal life that he wants. This is the secret: acceptance, patience, prayer, and helping by not helping. This last point is the most difficult, because what it means is that once the addict decides to go for rehab, he has to be convinced that he will not get any help from his family or his friends until he gets cured, and that if he suffers a relapse, he will be on his own. He is the only one who can really help himself. Period.”

Manoling, the unlikely pilgrim.

The Signal of a Smile.

I have yet to see another couple as in love as my Tatay and Nanay.

In his deathbed, Tatay promised Nanay that he would always watch for her through heaven’s window. He was going ahead of her because he needed the time to explore this new world that God was bringing him to; all he knew for sure was that this was going to be their paradise together. Tatay also promised that when it was time for Nanay to arrive, he would take her to the most beautiful places first.

Of course, he felt a little guilty saying all these to Nanay. After all, he also knew that life for her would never be the same again after his death. What will happen to their morning walks together? And the dance parties at the Senior Citizens Club? Those intimate moments they shared together on the dance floor – touching and moving to the music just like everyone else, yet deep down, they knew it was like they were making love.

Indeed, life together has been an endless ecstasy in flight. And now it is time to lay down and rest…for good. It is also time to accept that those moments together will never happen again after today. Not with Nanay alone now.

But Tatay assured her that he is just a prayer away. All Nanay needed to do was smile, just the way she always does for him, and he will come and be there for her just as he has always been.

Everyone said [particularly my sister Cena who took care of Nanay in her most trying years] that she always knew and believed that Tatay was really waiting for her on the other side. When she took her last breath on earth, she was smiling, in fact, almost beaming as she peacefully left us to meet with our Tatay. There was none of the heart wrenching heaving or struggle for life. Just like that, she smiled and headed to heaven’s gate where Tatay promised to be.

And I could just imagine how Tatay, upon seeing Nanay finally arrive, would take her hand ever so gently and let their guardian angels whisk them away together to their paradise. He has been waiting for her for almost twenty years.

In her dreams, Nanay told us that she would hear him say, “I’m waiting for you. Go ahead and prepare the children for your departure. But don’t stall too long because I need you. The children can take care of themselves.”

Nanay was never the same again after those dreams. While I never heard her say she wanted to die, I saw how she lost the twinkle in her eye and the kind of inner glow she had that only summer brings, when flowers came in full bloom and the roses were at its reddest, and the fragrance of the dama de noche showers filled the air at night. She had lost the spring in her walk, the melody in her voice, and the swing of her hips. She now always seemed to be looking at a far distance, as if waiting for someone she recognized to walk around the corner. And I knew that look, it was the same look she had on her face when she waited for Tatay to arrive home from work. That face broke into a smile the very moment she would see him. But that was then. After Tatay’s death, there was no more smile to that face.

But Nanay always tried her best to look happy when we were around. But we all knew it was just a facade, the sadness of her eyes were always a give way. She missed Tatay so much that it was really time to go.

There was tremendous pain and sorrow when Nanay left us. Not just from her children, but also from her grandchildren, her great grandchildren, and all her relatives and friends. We especially felt the pain when we heard Kevin, one of Nanay’s great grandchildren, crying. The sound of his sorrow pierced our hearts and hearing him plead to his Lola not to go made it even worse. Cena took him in her arms and as Nanay’s casket was slowly being put to its final resting place, Cena had asked Kevin to look, “Lola will now lay right beside Lolo. Now they will be together. Your Lolo has been waiting for her,” and it was only then that Kevin smiled, a smile so similar to that of Nanay’s that we all knew meant just one thing — that Tatay and Nanay have finally met again and were now going to be together forever.

Tatay and Nanay left nine children, all of which have chosen America to be their home except for me. Just like Tatay and Nanay, they found fulfillment there. And more than anything else, they had the opportunity to be with Nanay in her last years, especially my sister Cena.

But we all loved Nanay in our own special way. Mine was sort of a long-distance kind of love. I may not have had the opportunity to touch and hug her, but my love and devotion to her is no less.

Just like Tatay, I missed the chance of seeing Nanay alive before she passed away. But my brothers and sisters helped make her passing less painful for me. In her final moments, as they prayed and sang her favorite songs, they had found a way to let me be part of the experience. So no matter how far away I was, her weak and soft mumble of a reply after I told her I loved her on the phone was the loudest and strongest memory I will ever have of her.

“I love you, Nanay. I know you want to go. Tatay is waiting. Huwag mo na akong hintayin, Inay. Lumakad ka na. Ikumusta mo ako kay Tatay,” I mustered to say. And then my voice broke and then my heart as I said goodbye to Nanay one last time. I placed my hands over the phone so my brothers and sisters would not hear me crying.

We tried to make her final days as comfortable and as complete as possible. My sister Cena made sure she received the Sacrament for the Dying. Her faculties were still intact even until the very last time that her lips touched the Body of Christ. My brothers and sisters also made sure that the church preparation, the funeral services, and the final interment itself was perfect. I do not think Nanay would have asked for anything more.

While Nanay rested in her coffin, my brothers, sisters, and I made a pact to do all that we can to keep the legacy our parents left behind forever in our hearts. We promised to always remember the values they taught us and to let them be the beacon that will light our path along the way. We will always remember to be a family and how at the end of the day, we will need to overcome our differences and remember that it is with each other that we will be able to carry through with life. We also committed ourselves in making sure that the younger generation can keep the same pact we made, as they will eventually take over the torch and keep the legacy of Tatay and Nanay alive.

Let me share with you the words of Fr. Francis Fernandez in his book, “Conversations with God”:

His thoughts on joy:
“Joy has spiritual origin, arising from a heart that loves and feels itself loved by God…It is well known that there are different degrees of joy. Its most noble expression is the cheerfulness or happiness in its strict sense, when someone at the higher level of her faculties finds satisfaction in the possession of good which is recognized and loved. All the more reasons then, that one should experience spiritual joy and happiness when his spirit enters into the possession of God which is known and loved as his supreme and immutable good.”